ashes to dust
by avaron. x
Summary: It was the small, seemingly insignificant moments that she remembered the most. —gray x lucy, nonlinear


**A/N: **this was an old fanfic from two years ago that I dug up and somehow managed to finish. original inspiration for it came from the theme song "kanashiki kako"! I would recommend listening to this, it's a really lovely song.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Fairy Tail.

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**ASHES TO DUST**

_like feathers we blow away with the wind_

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(97)

There is frost gathering on her windowpane when she wakes up in the morning. It creeps across the glass like spidery fingers, and for a moment she remembers a time when she knew that ice was his.

But the cold that breathes onto her window now belongs to nobody, and she wishes she didn't know that.

Still and unmoving, she stares up at the ceiling for what feels like hours.

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(9)

"Lucy, watch out!"

The warning comes too late. She braces for the impact.

Something barrels into her and she feels her back hit the wall. She cracks open an eye and pools of dark blue blink back at her.

It is Gray.

"Are you alright?" He is breathing hard. Over his shoulder she can see Natsu attacking the monster, distracting it temporarily.

"Y-yeah."

Suddenly, she realizes how close they are. He has her pinned against the wall, caged between both his arms.

He mumbles something she doesn't quite hear.

"Hmm?"

"You're warm," he murmurs.

She smiles up at him. "So are you."

And it's only been a second, but it feels like a lifetime passes before he lets go.

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(51)

On the eve of her birthday, he takes her away from the prying eyes of their guild mates.

"I, uh… I have something for you," he says awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck in something akin to embarrassment.

"What is it?" she asks, curiosity and excitement shining in her gaze.

"Close your eyes," he says, and when she does he puts something in her hands that is cold to the touch and slippery smooth. She knows what it is before she sees.

The rose sits perfectly in her hands, its icy petals half-open. Each edge and curve, every detail is crafted with masterful skill.

"It's beautiful," she whispers, caramel eyes wide in awe. "But, Gray, won't it…?"

He cuts her off, grinning.

"Don't worry, it won't ever melt," he reassures her—

—_not until the day I die._

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(21)

"_What_ did you just say to me, droopy-eyes?"

"Why, _you_—" a blast of dizzying heat hits somewhere close to her, and she groans as another piece of the ceiling crashes down in front of them.

It can't be helped, really. The day Natsu and Gray stop fighting is the day—

—she doesn't even have time to finish that thought before a body crashes into her, and stars explode in her vision.

"Lucy?"

It is Gray's voice. She opens her eyes, only to see him gazing down at her with dark_dark_ eyes and a sheepish smile like he knows he's about to be mince-meat for crashing into her.

He is so close, she almost can't breathe.

When she doesn't respond, he looks at her oddly.

"What's wrong? I mean, ordinarily, you'd kick me away or, y'know, punch me or something…" He sounds almost afraid.

A second passes before she finds her voice. "Um… your clothes…"

He looks down and curses, leaping back from her like he's been burnt. "Sorry—" he starts to say, before Natsu's fiery punch sends him flying. "Oi! Pay attention, you exhibitionist!"

Still on the ground, she touches her face. It is flaming hot, and for a moment she wonders if it's always been like this. Has she always reacted this way to him?

She can't remember; all she can feel is her heartbeat tripping all over the place.

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(43)

It's the subtle things nobody else notices.

The accidental touches, the light brushing of fingers that sends electricity tingling up her spine. The looks he gives her sometimes, when he thinks she isn't looking.

It's the funny way his ice makes her all warm inside, and full of smiles when she knows she shouldn't.

She wonders what they'd all think if they knew.

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(11)

"…Natsu and Elfman."

They look at each other and Natsu pumps his fist in the air. Elfman says some sort of inspirational battle cheer that ends with "that's a man!". Lucy's not really listening.

"Gray… and Lucy."

Her eyebrows raise into her hairline. How does that work out? She's nowhere near good enough to be _Gray_'s partner.

She turns to him, and he's grinning with that carefree air about him she has grown to appreciate.

"Alright, let's do this! We're gonna kick some butt!"

The smile that spreads across her face somehow chases away all her worries.

"Yeah!"

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(36)

Distantly, she can hear someone screaming. When she turns, it is too late.

The hurricane blast is on them in seconds, but Gray is faster. He leaps and grabs her, and then they are running for what feels like miles before they finally stop, panting and separated from the rest of their friends.

The forest around them is vast and gloomy, the air silent and heavy.

She looks up at the sky—it is murky, but there is no sign of the wind dragon so hell-bent on blowing them away.

That's when she realizes that her hand is in his. His grip is rough but firm, and surprisingly warm for someone who can freeze rain in seconds. She looks up at him sharply—his gaze is fixed somewhere else. But there is a dusting of red on his cheeks, and she smiles a small smile.

"We should probably start looking for Natsu and Happy, huh?"

He makes a noncommittal noise. "That flame-brained idiot can find his own way home."

She laughs, a tinkling, musical sound, and he cracks a smile.

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(89)

The room is silent.

The rose sits on her windowsill, cast under the brilliant moonlight shining in through the window. It glows dimly, and she watches as water droplets slide off its rigidly delicate petals with an almost ethereal sort of grace.

(it won't ever melt, he'd said with eyes as bright as the moonlight.

_not until_—)

She should've known.

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(29)

"Let's start with the dragon slayer, shall we?"

His name leaves her lips as they release him from his chains. His fire flares bright and red, but then it splutters and dies.

He is weak from days of starvation, but it doesn't put a damper on his spirit.

"Yeah? I'll beat the crap out of you!"

Bound in bloody chains next to her, Gray swears as they incapacitate Natsu with one blow.

She watches as he is thrown in the air like a rag doll. She watches, with wide eyes, as the realization hits her groggy mind. She can't do anything.

"Natsu," she cries as he struggles to get up again. She can't do anything at all.

Gray says her name, and she turns her head ever so slightly to look at him.

"Don't look," he whispers. Tears well up in her eyes.

She tries her best not to.

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(71)

She holds his hand.

"It doesn't hurt," is the only thing he says. His dark eyes reflect the sky, and she recalls a time they were still looking at her.

The tears on his cheeks are not his.

"Good," she whispers.

He smiles a small smile.

She stays by his side long after she realizes he is never coming back.

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(56)

"You just wait," there is a huge grin on Natsu's face as he says this, "this year I'm going to become an S-class wizard for sure!"

"As if, flame-brain. I'll become one first."

But Natsu isn't even listening, because he is already making plans for his future as an S-class wizard. And then—

"Happy, let's go! Last one on the ship is the—"

And then Happy's already gone, with Natsu yelling something about cheating as he runs off after him, leaving Lucy alone with the ice wizard.

"Ne, Gray…"

His gaze shifts to her, his expression betraying nothing.

She hesitates.

"Just… come back safely, okay?"

A smirk graces across his face. "Have some faith in me, Lucy. The old man chose me for a reason."

Words are at the tip of her tongue—words that would make him stay just a bit longer.

She opens her mouth, but then closes it again.

He raises one hand out of his pocket in an easy gesture of goodbye as he walks away from her. And she can't for the life of her figure out why her eyes are wet.

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( **theme song:** kanashiki kako )

_el fin._


End file.
